Non-Molestation Orders

A non-molestation order is a civil court order designed to protect you (and your children, if applicable) from someone who is using or threatening violence, harassment, or intimidation. It can prohibit the other person from:

• Using or threatening violence against you

• Contacting you directly or indirectly

• Coming within a specified distance of your home or workplace

• Encouraging others to harass or contact you on their behalf

• Non-molestation orders are usually applied for in the Family Court. Breach of the order is a criminal offence, which means the police can act on it without needing further civil proceedings.

What you'll need:

• Evidence of the behaviour you're seeking protection from — texts, emails, recordings (where lawfully made), photographs, medical records, witness statements

• A clear written account of incidents, with dates where possible

• Usually, a solicitor's assistance, though it's possible to apply in person

Legal aid:

May be available if you meet the financial criteria and can provide evidence of abuse. Solicitors who specialise in this area can usually tell you quickly whether you qualify.

Occupation Orders

An occupation order regulates who can live in the family home. It can:

• Require the abusive party to leave the home

• Prevent them from entering or coming within a specified distance of the home

• Set out who can use which parts of the home (in some shared-occupancy situations)

• Sometimes require the other party to continue contributing to mortgage or rent payments

Occupation orders are particularly useful when there are concerns about safety and you have a legal right to occupy the property. They are also relevant if you're considering leaving the home — you don't always have to be the one who moves out.

Important note for fathers:

If children are involved, the practical reality is that the parent who remains in the family home often ends up with the children as the default arrangement, which can have significant implications for any future contact disputes. This is one reason an occupation order — requiring the other party to leave rather than you — can be strategically important.

The order is usually time-limited — typically six or twelve months — and may be extended on application. A solicitor specialising in family law can advise on the strongest application route for your situation.

Child Arrangements Orders

Where children are involved, a Child Arrangements Order sets out:

• Who the child or children live with

• When they spend time with the other parent

• The specific arrangements for contact (in person, telephone, video calls, holidays, etc)

In abusive situations, you may want to seek arrangements that:

• Limit the abusive party's contact with the children if that's in the children's best interests

• Specify supervised contact rather than unsupervised, where appropriate

• Define handover arrangements that minimise risk and conflict (e.g. through a third party or in a neutral location)

• Address how schools, healthcare, and other practical matters will be handled

The process can be lengthy.

Child Arrangements Order proceedings often take 18 months to 2+ years in contested cases. This is partly why early legal advice — and early documentation — matters so much.

For more on family court process, including the realities of self-representation and what to expect, see Understanding the Family Court Process.

Criminal Offences

Domestic abuse covers a range of criminal offences. Reporting to the police is one route — a separate and parallel one to civil family court proceedings. The criminal offences most relevant to domestic abuse include:

• Common assault and battery — physical violence or unwanted physical contact

• Actual bodily harm (ABH) and grievous bodily harm (GBH) — more serious physical injuries

• Harassment — repeated unwanted contact, threats, or conduct causing distress

• Stalking — a specific offence covering persistent unwanted attention

• Controlling or coercive behaviour — a specific offence under the Serious Crime Act 2015, covering patterns of psychological control, isolation, and intimidation

• Threats to kill — taken very seriously regardless of the relationship context

• Damage to property — particularly where used as part of intimidation

To report:

Emergency: 999

Non-emergency: 101

Crimestoppers (anonymous): 0800 555 111

What happens when you report:

The police will take a statement, gather any evidence, and decide whether to investigate. The Crown Prosecution Service then decides whether to charge. The criminal process operates on a higher standard of proof (beyond reasonable doubt) than family court (balance of probabilities), so cases that struggle in the criminal system can sometimes still succeed in family court — and vice versa.

Honest note:

Men reporting domestic abuse to the police sometimes find their experience disappointing. Despite policy commitments to take all reports seriously, lived experience suggests that male victims are sometimes met with surprise, scepticism, or institutional bias. This is not a reason not to report — every report is part of the record, and serious cases are taken seriously — but it is worth being prepared for the possibility, and worth keeping your own detailed documentation regardless of how a police response goes.

Practical Safety Planning

Beyond formal legal protections, practical safety planning can make a real difference:

• Keep important documents secure — passport, driving licence, financial records, copies of any abuse-related evidence — somewhere the other party cannot access them

• Have a small emergency bag ready — medication, keys, charger, cash, basic clothing — if leaving suddenly might become necessary

• Know where you would go — a friend, family member, hotel, or refuge — if you needed to leave at short notice

• Plan safe handovers for children — neutral locations, third-party involvement, or supervised contact where appropriate

• Review digital security — change passwords, check whether the other party has access to your accounts or devices, review your social media privacy settings

• Use a separate phone or email address for confidential communications where possible

• Inform schools and healthcare providers if relevant, so they're aware and can act appropriately

Refuges and Emergency Accommodation

Refuge provision for men is much more limited than for women, but it does exist. Some refuges accept men; some are men-only. The Mankind Initiative maintains information on available services for male victims.

Key contacts:

• Mankind Initiative: 0808 800 1170 — confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse, including signposting to accommodation where available

• Men's Advice Line: 0808 801 0327 — confidential support and advice

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge): 0808 2000 247 — primarily for women but can provide some signposting

A note on the gap:

Refuge availability for men is one of the recognised gaps in the UK support landscape, and one of the issues SoulForge is committed to working on over time. If you cannot access a refuge, other options include friends, family, a hotel, or in some cases temporary council accommodation through local authority housing services.

What Evidence to Keep

Whether you're pursuing civil protection orders, considering criminal reporting, or simply preparing for what might come, keeping clear documentation matters. What to record:

• Dated incidents — what happened, where, when, who was present

• Communications — save threatening or abusive texts, emails, voicemails, social media messages

• Physical evidence — photographs of injuries (dated), damage to property, items thrown or broken

• Medical records — GP visits, A&E attendances, mental health appointments related to the abuse

• Witness contact details — people who saw, heard, or were told about specific incidents

• Patterns — keep a running log of seemingly minor incidents; patterns are often more important than single events

Where to store it:

Somewhere the other party cannot access. A cloud service (with a strong password and two-factor authentication), a trusted friend or family member, or a secure email account they don't know about. Avoid keeping everything on a shared computer or in the family home.

A Final Note

Legal protection routes exist, and they can work. But they are also slow, often imperfect, and rarely as decisive as men expect them to be. The most important thing is to act with clarity rather than panic — get qualified advice early, document carefully, and don't try to navigate this alone.

If you need someone to talk to about your situation, or to think through which route might be most appropriate, consider speaking with the Mankind Initiative or Men's Advice Line. Their advisors are experienced, non-judgmental, and confidential.

For more detailed guidance on the family court process specifically, see our pages on Understanding the Family Court Process, Preparing your Case, and Working with Solicitors and Professionals.