Working With Solicitors, Cafcass, and Other Professionals
What to expect, what to question, and how to stay in control
Family court cases typically involve several different professionals — your own solicitor (if you have one), the other party's solicitor and barrister, Cafcass officers, sometimes social workers, sometimes mediators. Each has a different role. None of them is on your side in quite the way you might expect. Understanding what each is actually doing, and how to engage with them effectively, helps you stay in control of your case rather than being managed by it.
Working with solicitors
The honest reality.
Family law solicitors vary enormously. Some are excellent — strategic, empathetic, willing to engage seriously with your case. Many are not. Common complaints include: solicitors who don't listen, who do the minimum for the highest fee, who lose interest after the initial consultation, who don't return calls, who don't share your sense of urgency. Even sympathetic, well-meaning solicitors often fail to grasp the depth of detail in your case.
Cost reality.
A solicitor can charge several hundred pounds an hour. A one-day hearing with full representation can easily cost £1,000–£2,000. A complete case can run into tens of thousands. Get clarity on fees up front, and ask about fixed-fee options for specific pieces of work.
Choosing a solicitor.
Where possible, get recommendations. Ask other men who've been through similar cases. Use organisations like Resolution to find specialists in family law. Have an initial consultation with more than one before committing — many solicitors offer free or low-cost initial meetings.
Questions worth asking up front:
Who specifically will handle my case day-to-day? (Sometimes a senior solicitor signs you up and a junior does most of the work.)
How often will we communicate, and how?
What's your strategic view of my case?
What's your approach if the other side makes new allegations or breaches an order?
Are fixed-fee options available for specific tasks?
Warning signs.
Be cautious if a solicitor seems uninterested, dismissive of your case knowledge, vague about strategy, or unable to give clear answers about cost. Trust your instincts. A bad fit at the start tends to get worse.
Don't expect emotional support. Solicitors aren't therapists. Even friendly ones rarely have the time, training, or inclination to provide emotional support. Going to your solicitor for emotional containment will disappoint both of you. Build that support elsewhere.
Working with barristers
Barristers are usually instructed by your solicitor for specific hearings — particularly more serious or contested ones like fact-finding or final hearings. Some can be instructed directly under the Public Access scheme.
They're often better than solicitors at strategic thinking. A good barrister can transform how a hearing goes. They specialise in courtroom advocacy and can spot strategic moves a solicitor might miss.
But the dynamics still matter. Even with a barrister, you need to be clear about what you want and what's important. They typically come into your case for a single hearing — they don't know it in the depth you do. Brief them well, in writing, and confirm strategy before the hearing rather than discovering it in the corridor.
Working with Cafcass
Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) advises the court on what's in the children's best interests. Their officers interview parents and children and produce reports that judges rely on heavily.
Be polite, calm, and clear. Cafcass interactions are part of the case, not separate from it.
But don't be lulled. Many men describe Cafcass conversations that felt friendly and balanced, followed by reports that read very differently. Some Cafcass officers have firm views early on, and the report may reflect those views regardless of what was said in conversation.
Take detailed contemporaneous notes.
Immediately after any Cafcass interaction, write down what was discussed — date, time, what they asked, what you said. If the report misrepresents the conversation, your notes are your only record.
Be aware of certain phrases. "Lacks insight" appears in many Cafcass reports. It's unfalsifiable — disagreeing with their view becomes evidence of lacking insight. There's no clean way around this. Document your position calmly and consistently, and challenge inaccuracies through proper procedure rather than getting drawn into circular arguments.
Children's interviews are typically brief. A Cafcass officer may spend as little as 30 minutes with your children before producing a report that speaks to the children's wishes and feelings with significant authority. Knowing this in advance helps you contextualise the weight a report should carry — and prepare arguments for hearings where the report needs challenging.
Working with social workers
Social services may be involved through local authority safeguarding, particularly where allegations have been made.
Many of the same principles apply as with Cafcass. Polite engagement, contemporaneous notes, awareness that warmth in conversation doesn't predict fairness in reports.
Don't make admissions casually.
Social workers may frame conversations as informal, but anything you say can end up in case records. Be measured. If unsure, say you'd prefer to respond in writing after taking advice.
Working with mediators
Family mediation is sometimes a required step before court proceedings (the MIAM — Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting). It can also be useful as a way of resolving issues without court involvement.
It works best when both parties engage in good faith. Where one party isn't genuinely interested in agreement, mediation can be ineffective or counterproductive.
Don't agree to anything you haven't thought through. Mediated agreements can be turned into binding orders. Don't agree to specific arrangements under pressure. Take time. Get advice.
Working with the police
If you've reported criminal offences (assault, harassment, coercive control), you'll be dealing with police as well.
The criminal and family court systems are separate. A police investigation runs parallel to family proceedings. The standard of proof is different (beyond reasonable doubt versus balance of probabilities), so a case that doesn't lead to criminal charges can still be relevant to family court — and vice versa.
Document everything.
Crime reference numbers, dates of reports, what was said, how it was handled. This information can be relevant in family court even if the criminal case doesn't progress.
Be aware that male victims sometimes report disappointing police experiences. Despite policy commitments, lived experience suggests male victims can be met with surprise or scepticism. This is not a reason not to report — every report is part of the record. But it's worth being prepared.
The combination matters
Your most effective approach, and dependent on your financial capacity and other circumstances, is usually a combination of professionals, used strategically:
A solicitor for ongoing case management and advice
A barrister for key hearings
A McKenzie Friend for support and notes in court
AI tools for procedural research and drafting
Peer support for understanding and resilience
No single professional will be everything you need. Building the right combination, and managing each relationship deliberately, is part of what good case management looks like.
Where This Leads Next
Working with professionals is only one part of navigating the family court process.
The next stage is understanding how ongoing arrangements, communication, and decision-making evolve during proceedings, particularly in situations where conflict remains unresolved.
This is explored further in: